Since it’s easier to access the documents and income sources while both spouses still live together, this should be done thoroughly and without delay. Income from sources other than employment such as trust funds, retirement accounts, government benefits and royalties should also be assessed.įor several aspects of a divorce, including child support and alimony, it’s imperative to know each spouse’s income. Assessing income can be more challenging, however, if one spouse is self-employed without a set monthly income. If one or both people work at salaried positions, this is fairly straightforward. The first step is to assess the total amount of income of the spouses. This means assessing income, documenting income and creating a budget. The leaving spouse must fully understand the family’s financial situation before moving out. The bottom line is that leaving doesn’t make it easier it just makes it different. Because money, parenting and property division become hot-button issues that demand immediate resolution, moving out can create a raft of new problems rather than abate the conflict. The reality, however, is that conflict and hostility usually increase because of the impact that moving out has on financial and legal issues. They may imagine that if they lived in different homes, some of the conflict will subside. But it’s a common misconception that moving out will lessen the emotional strain felt by the spouses. Once someone has decided to end his or her marriage, it becomes stressful to interact with the other spouse, and even if they try to avoid each other and sleep apart, interactions that occur throughout the day are rife with conflict. By remaining in the residence until all issues of alimony, custody and property division have been resolved, one can avoid or minimize the potential legal fallout caused by moving out. This innocuous-sounding term is actually an important legal conclusion that can significantly affect the value of marital assets and debts when the time comes to divide property. The date a spouse moves out will likely be considered the date of separation of the parties. In particular, moving out instantly makes custody a pressing issue to be resolved.įrequently, the first custody arrangement created becomes the status quo and can greatly impact the eventual permanent custody arrangement. Moving out also creates a cascade of legal issues that can be lessened or avoided by staying in the residence. Expenses increase dramatically while income remains the same it can easily double the total cost of living, while the standard of living stays the same or diminishes. In families with children, moving out also means increased transportation costs and furnishing double the number of children’s bedrooms, toys and supplies. Two mortgages, two electricity bills and two grocery bills appear where there had been only one. Once a spouse leaves the home, many of these efficiencies are lost. For example, while there may be five televisions and three computers in one family’s house, they all can share one internet and cable connection. Adults and children live under one roof and pool resources to provide the basic necessities of food and shelter, as well as luxuries like cable television, high-speed internet access and private school tuition. Living together as a nuclear family - husband, wife and children - is a remarkably efficient financial arrangement.
In other situations, though, the leaving spouse must recognize that moving out will increase stress on the whole family financially, legally and emotionally. In those exceptionally dangerous situations, safety must be the highest priority and everything else a distant second. It’s even more traumatic when the decision to leave is a matter of safety, such as in the case of domestic violence. Step 1: Don’t Leave Unless Absolutely NecessaryĮnding a marriage causes trauma that reverberates through the lives of every family member. Considering these issues of what to do before you move out will help leaving spouses make the best decisions possible for all concerned. The following steps will allow a “leaving spouse” to understand the many issues - legal, financial and emotional - that arise from the decision to move out. While each divorce case is different and legal advice must be tailored to the individual’s circumstances, certain steps are useful for anyone in this situation. The speaker could be anyone from any walk of life, but one thing is universal to everyone facing the end of a marriage: There are things that must be considered before moving out of the marital residence. ‘My Marriage Is Over.’ These words are heard on telephones, in offices and across restaurant tables every day.